CHAPTER 10: SKILLS FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
TERMS TO KNOW: RELATIONSHIP, FRIENDSHIP, CITIZENSHIP, ROLE, COMMUNICATION, COOPERATION, COMPROMISE, "I" MESSAGE, ACTIVE LISTENING, BODY LANGUAGE, PREJUDICE, TOLERANCE, CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, CONFLICT, INTERPERSONAL CONFLICTS, CONFLICT RESOLUTION, NEGOTIATION, MEDIATION, CONFIDENTIALITY, PEER MEDIATORS
I. FOUNDATIONS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
A. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
1. RELATIONSHIP IS A BOND OR CONNECTION WITH OTHER PEOPLE
2. HEALTHY - REFERS TO BOTH PEOPLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP BENEFITING AND FEELING COMFORTABLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
3. TYPES:
a. family
b. friends
c. community
4. ROLES
a. types
1. son/ daughter
2. employee/ boss
3. girlfriend/ boyfriend
b. roles change and may be unclear at times which is why communication is so important
B. BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
1. SKILLS NEEDED
a. COMMUNICATION
b. COOPERATION
c. COMPROMISE
2. CHARACTERISTICS
a. RESPECT AND CONSIDERATION
b. HONESTY
c. DEPENDABILITY
d. COMMITMENT
C. CHARACTER
1. THE WAY YOU THINK, FEEL AND ACT INFLUENCES YOUR RELATIONSHIP
2. COMPONENTS OF CHARACTER
a. TRUSTWORTHY
b. RESPECT
c. RESPONSIBILITY
d. FAIR
e. CARING
f. CITIZENSHIP
II. COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY
A. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
1. BASIC SKILLS - SPEAKING, LISTENING, BODY LANGUAGE
2. STYLES -
a. PASSIVE - UNWILLING TO EXPRESS FEELINGS OR THOUGHTS
b. AGGRESSIVE - BULLY OR INTIMIDATE IN COMMUNICATION
c. ASSERTIVE - EXPRESSING THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITHOUT HURTING OTHER
3. SPEAKING SKILLS
a. TONE -
b. PITCH -
c. LOUDNESS -
d. "I" MESSAGES HELPS AVOID BLAME OR NAME CALLING
4. LISTENING SKILLS
a. EYE CONTACT
b. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT IS BEING SAID
5. BODY LANGUAGE SKILLS
a. HAS AN EFFECT ON COMMUNICATION IN GOOD AND BAD WAYS
b. EXAMPLES: HAND GESTURES, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, POSTURE
B. OBSTACLES
a. IMAGE/ IDENTITY ISSUES
b. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
c. LACK OF TRUST
d. JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE
e. STEREOTYPING
C. FEEDBACK
1. UPS AND DOWNS OF RELATIONSHIPS
2. COMMUNICATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WHEN YOU SUFFER A LET DOWN
a. BE CONSTRUCTIVE
b DONT BE AGGRESSIVE
3. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS/ COMPLIMENTS
A. THEY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
B. THEY MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD TOO
III. RESOLVING CONFLICT
A. RESOLVING CONFLICT
1. THERE ARE DISAGREEMENTS IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP
2. REASONS
a. POWER STRUGGLE
b. LOYALTY
c. JEALOUSLY
d. PROPERTY
e. SPACE/ TERRITORY
3. CHOICES AND THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
a. MAIN CONCERN SHOULD BE YOUR HEALTH AND SAFETY
b. IS IT WORTH ARGUING ABOUT
c. CAN AN AGREEMENT BE REACHED
B. MEDIATION
1. PROFESSIONAL HELP IS SOMETIMES NEEDED
2. BOTH PARTIES MUST VALUE THE RELATIONSHIP ENOUGH TO AGREE TO SEE A MEDIATOR
3. MEDIATION AVAILABLE
a. clergy
b. family counselor
c. marriage counselor
I. FOUNDATIONS OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
A. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
1. RELATIONSHIP IS A BOND OR CONNECTION WITH OTHER PEOPLE
2. HEALTHY - REFERS TO BOTH PEOPLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP BENEFITING AND FEELING COMFORTABLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP
3. TYPES:
a. family
b. friends
c. community
4. ROLES
a. types
1. son/ daughter
2. employee/ boss
3. girlfriend/ boyfriend
b. roles change and may be unclear at times which is why communication is so important
B. BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
1. SKILLS NEEDED
a. COMMUNICATION
b. COOPERATION
c. COMPROMISE
2. CHARACTERISTICS
a. RESPECT AND CONSIDERATION
b. HONESTY
c. DEPENDABILITY
d. COMMITMENT
C. CHARACTER
1. THE WAY YOU THINK, FEEL AND ACT INFLUENCES YOUR RELATIONSHIP
2. COMPONENTS OF CHARACTER
a. TRUSTWORTHY
b. RESPECT
c. RESPONSIBILITY
d. FAIR
e. CARING
f. CITIZENSHIP
II. COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY
A. EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
1. BASIC SKILLS - SPEAKING, LISTENING, BODY LANGUAGE
2. STYLES -
a. PASSIVE - UNWILLING TO EXPRESS FEELINGS OR THOUGHTS
b. AGGRESSIVE - BULLY OR INTIMIDATE IN COMMUNICATION
c. ASSERTIVE - EXPRESSING THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITHOUT HURTING OTHER
3. SPEAKING SKILLS
a. TONE -
b. PITCH -
c. LOUDNESS -
d. "I" MESSAGES HELPS AVOID BLAME OR NAME CALLING
4. LISTENING SKILLS
a. EYE CONTACT
b. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO WHAT IS BEING SAID
5. BODY LANGUAGE SKILLS
a. HAS AN EFFECT ON COMMUNICATION IN GOOD AND BAD WAYS
b. EXAMPLES: HAND GESTURES, FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, POSTURE
B. OBSTACLES
a. IMAGE/ IDENTITY ISSUES
b. UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
c. LACK OF TRUST
d. JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE
e. STEREOTYPING
C. FEEDBACK
1. UPS AND DOWNS OF RELATIONSHIPS
2. COMMUNICATE YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WHEN YOU SUFFER A LET DOWN
a. BE CONSTRUCTIVE
b DONT BE AGGRESSIVE
3. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS/ COMPLIMENTS
A. THEY MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD
B. THEY MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD TOO
III. RESOLVING CONFLICT
A. RESOLVING CONFLICT
1. THERE ARE DISAGREEMENTS IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP
2. REASONS
a. POWER STRUGGLE
b. LOYALTY
c. JEALOUSLY
d. PROPERTY
e. SPACE/ TERRITORY
3. CHOICES AND THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
a. MAIN CONCERN SHOULD BE YOUR HEALTH AND SAFETY
b. IS IT WORTH ARGUING ABOUT
c. CAN AN AGREEMENT BE REACHED
B. MEDIATION
1. PROFESSIONAL HELP IS SOMETIMES NEEDED
2. BOTH PARTIES MUST VALUE THE RELATIONSHIP ENOUGH TO AGREE TO SEE A MEDIATOR
3. MEDIATION AVAILABLE
a. clergy
b. family counselor
c. marriage counselor
